It’s not as bad as you think. I had this weird dream that inspired some loose fan fiction. I say it’s fan fiction because it was inspired by the Human Torch, but I never actually name names.
*sigh* I guess I should just show you, but first let me retell what I remember from the dream. I’m in wal-mart, and I’m complaining about God’s will, and not knowing what he wants me to do with my life. Which is kind of retarded, because even if I do something he doesn’t like, he can shut any opportunity door in my face right?
So in the dream I’m in wal-mart, and I’m like: God, show me your will. I see a large picture (about the size of 9 big screen t.v.’s lined up brady bunch style), and I see the Human Torch. The repressed mastermind in me goes: Yes, I will become a supervillain.
So I do some villainy stuff, and then I make this fan fiction. Then I find out that Human Torch dies in Avengers 2 by the hands of Thanos. Maybe casting someone else as Human Torch is a little lamer than some people think, but really? Why kill him? Just because he has a look alike?
Anyway, so here’s some Gary Stu self-insert wish fulfillment. Enjoy.
***
All right, so there are other universes out there, but there’s not as many rules governing cross contamination as you would think. There’s no peacekeeping force or anything like that, but things balance out pretty well for whatever reason. So, we have these artifacts that periodically show up. They’re like eggs, about the size of an adult fist. If you find one before anyone else does, it amplifies your psychic potential. Humans affect their environment by wishes, fears, and thoughts. For most people, it’s barely noticeable, but when you get one of these, it’s a lot easier for what you want to happen. You have to be careful to guard your mind against the negative side of this. A lot of people die because they don’t have enough control of their minds to prevent their deepest fears from manifesting and cutting short their lives.
So I found it. Another thing that periodically happens is that I find another artifact (because things tend to go my way, remember?). These artifacts aren’t very compatible. What usually happens is you get a power boost, but because there’s a lot of psychic friction, the new device will short out pretty fast. However, you have anywhere from 12 to 18 hours to do pretty much whatever you want. If you’re smart about it, it’s a good time. If not, you get taken down by that universes’ meta-police.
So, I travel to a different world (you don’t want a record in your own world, believe me), and I make a challenge at the top of the tallest building. I need to attract attention without causing too much trouble. So I block out the sun’s light for a bit. A team of metas quickly responded, although that doesn’t always happen.
I’ve done this a few times, so I can tell about how long this added power source will last. A meta in a uniform catches fire and flies over to me. Now let the fun begin!
I quickly think about how nice it would be for a sudden thunderstorm. Flameboy is quickly doused. Next I get a funny feeling in my head, like someone’s trying to push over my mind with a dozer.. I start singing the chicken dance song in my head really hard, and the headcase below starts dancing around uncontrollably. Oh yes, this is great. I check my time. About 4 hours. I think I can take two more, but I hope they’re more of a challenge.
Forunately and unfortunately, they are. Someone in power armor is behind me before I notice. My force shield is strong, but it’s not that strong. I fly off the building. The more damage I take, the less time I have, so this’ll have to be fast. The sunshade starts to weaken. Crap.
I get my hover on, and he throws some ballistics at me. I create an entropy field, so the shots pull away from me and toward something else. There’s a little property damage, but he started it, right? Is it a he? I twist gravity a little, and now I’m walking on the side of the building. About 2 hours, unless they surprise me. I want to prevnt this guy from doing any damage, but his armor is pretty strong. I can’t just beat him to a pulp. So I picture the shadows on the roof getting a little frisky. Hands and arms form from the darkness, quickly binding him to the ground.
“I think copping a feel indirectly is a little cowardly, but if it works I’ll not complain,” I say.
“What do you want?” she asks,” Money? Human lives? If you give up now, we’ll go easy on you in the court,”
I say, “There’s no such things for cops. Once I’m out of bargaining stones, I’m at your mercy. Don’t worry, we’re almost done, and no one’s been injured. I even braced your matchstick’s fall, not that you noticed,”
“We can help you. Just talk to me,” she says.
“You’re stalling for time. Is that all your metas? If so, we’re done here,”
I see something out of the corner of my eye. I send a wave of force in every direction. It’s hard to maintain the shadow hands, but somehow I manage. The more you split your focus the more limited your powers.
I see the light bending around one spot.
“Oh, a transparency. I love those. Well, after this, I’ve gotta jet, so let’s make this the coup de gracey”
I wasn’t an english major, nor do I read that much.
I alter the gravity, and then reverse it. Whump. Whump whump. Whump whump whump.
The pavement is rarely your friend. Especially when you’re my enemies.
I begin to sing poorly, and time the sudden drops with the music. My rhythm’s not great, and I doubt they’ll appreciate my wit.
“Yeah, that was quite a bit of work for you. Sorry, jankifact,” The eclipse is almost gone. I walk over to a wall, step into the shadows, and return to the area I started in. One of the black market items you can get in just about any big multiversal city is a doorwand. It lets you cross the dimensions about twice a day. Use it anymore than that and it starts to break down. So, I draw the door on the wall, knock with the wand, and I’m gone. I have no idea if this mischief will catch up with me. I hope not. I rarely return to the same world I do this stuff in, that is to say, I haven’t done it yet. Oh well, I’m young, I love to fight (sparring with metas makes my day), and that’s my culture. I think it’s time for a nice nap. Sweet schemes.
***
